Choices, choices

July 6, 2010

The World Cup will be over in a week, and I just can’t (or don’t want to) believe it. Although my body will be better off without the chips and beer that football-themed evenings (and weekends!) have consisted of, I will definitely miss the anticipation, the excitement and let’s face it, the shenanigans. In fact, let me share two of my favourite Internet picks that characterise these shenanigans before the World Cup ends and it’s too late:

in reference to the uncounted goal in  England’s match against Germany



Ex US pres Bill Clinton with US Team captain Bocanegra, chilling in the changing rooms after the USA v. Algeria match. I will let the photo speak for itself.

But back to today, or rather tomorrow, and the big match that opposes Uruguay and The Netherlands. Two small countries, one ambition: to make it to the final. Not coming from either country nor having a particular affinity for one or the other, who to support?

Luckily, a Gawker writer helps us make such a difficult choice. Here are a few sample arguments for each team:

1. Uruguayans are surprisingly hot.

Check out star striker Diego Forlan, a ridiculous blond Adonis whose midriff isn’t so much a six-pack as a symphony-grade xylophone.

2. Cheering for villains is always perversely enjoyable.

Sure, sure-we all convinced ourselves that if Ghana made the semifinals, everyone would get their own personalized Nobel Peace Prize in the mail. Enter nasty Uruguay. Sinister Uruguay. As you may have heard, Uruguayan forward Luis Suarez “saved” a last-second Ghananian shot with a seventh-grade-girls-volleyball punch off the goal line. Some people now consider Suarez a war criminal for snuffing out Africa’s World Cup hopes. Meanwhile, the culprit and his mates areexquisitely unrepentant about the whole affair. You know what? Screw Ghana. Get into it.

3. They basically took a time machine to get here.
Uruguay won the first World Cup ever, in 1930. Uruguay also won the 1950 World Cup. Retro cool.

THE NETHERLANDS

1. They wear orange (and make it work).
Only the Dutch can pull off eye-bleeding orange, and make it seem totally appropriate.

2. Wesley Sneijder might secretly be the best player in the world.
Wesley Sneijder, the Netherland’s stubby, 5-foot-7-inch midfield generalissmo, is just bossing the scene. He just knocked in two goals to eliminate Brazil. He leads the World Cup’s only unbeaten, untied team. The dude is an undervalued stock.

3. They all look like World War II resistance fighters.
Shaved heads. Starved countenances. Overall, a steely approach coupled with some crafty, old-school Dutch flourish.

Hmm, this journalist definitely gave us something to mull over, and I think I’ve made my choice. Have you?

(p.s. I’m not trying to influence you or anything, but how great would a Germany v. The Netherlands final be??)

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